lqqove

1
"I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."

"Twenty dollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"

"Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

2
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
一个小男孩走进一家理发店，这时理发师悄悄对顾客说：“这是天底下最傻的孩子，我来证明给你看。”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
理发师在一只手上放了一美元，另一只手上放了两个25美分的硬币，然后把男孩叫过来，问道：孩子，你想要哪个?男孩拿走了两个25美分的硬币然后离开了。

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
理发师说道：“瞧我刚刚跟你说了啥?这孩子从不会吸取教训!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
过了一会儿，顾客离开的时候，他看到那个男孩从冰淇淋店走了出来。

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
“诶，孩子，我能问你个问题吗?你为什么拿走美分硬币而不是美元?”

The boy licked his cone1 and replied,"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
男孩舔了舔冰淇淋然后答道：“因为等我拿走了美元，这个游戏就结束了。”



3
John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

"John!" Teacher says angrily.

"What? What's wrong?" John is awaken1.

"Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says.

"No one is laughing." Teacher says.

"No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset.

"Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.

约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。

“约翰！”老师生气地喊他。

“什么？出什么事了？”约翰醒了。

“你为什么要做鬼脸？这是教室！看看！同学们都在笑！”老师生气地说。

“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。

“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。

4
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours, then he started again, and said he: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question -- if we had tails like a baboon1, where are they?"

"I'll venture an answer," said an old lady, "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？”

“我来试试看，”一位老太太说， “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”